Oh well that’s what I get for replying to Deadspin posts at midnight and swearing up and down that 2018 was a Euro year. Eff.

Oliver Kahn retired at 39, Schmeichel had to stop at 40. The point is that Guzman and Rimando are only middling on their best days and Tim Howard will be 40 in 2020. Arena understands that his job is to get to Russia. I’d lay good money he was told that explicitly, actually. It’s to be expected.

There’s a quote from Mad Men where Pete says “Stable is that step backward between successful and failing,” and I think that sums up the decision to hire Bruce Arena pretty succinctly.

Draymond Green continues to answer the question “What if Lebron liked to kick dudes in the sack?”

It would probably have to be an Important Playoff Game, right? The sort of game you can only get through sheer force of will in a critical situation?

Aha! Thanks!

Well, generally religious leaders point to some piece of scripture as the justification of their arbitrary doctrines. I just don’t remember an 11th commandment saying “Thou shalt not ball on a full court, for it shall result in balling too hard.”

Yeah, I saw that too. I guess I was just looking for something more specific, like a quote from Brigham Young about Satan’s sick outlet passes or something.

The handbook link indicates that any recreational games shouldn’t reach a certain level of competition (competitiveness leads to injury, which interferes with the Lord’s work), but doesn’t offer an explanation of the half court thing. It’s very odd.

It’s touched on but never really explained, but why are missionaries told to only play half-court?

Did he stop having sex too, or what?

Pretty much. I go to Richmond Flying Squirrels games specifically because I can hang out and drink with friends while not giving two flying farts about the action on the field until I hear the climactic bat crack followed by the anti-climactic flyout.

Bert and Ernie are muppets, not Muppets. Any puppet that came out of Jim Henson’s workshop is a muppet, but only those appearing on the Muppet Show are proper noun Muppets. It’s not a hard distinction, folks.

That’s a lot of effort to tell everyone you’re going to go 8-5 and then lose in the Del Boca Vista Phase II Bowl

So the point remains that John Harbaugh is bad at calling personnel switches?

Easy: he’s the inventor of the Mason jar. Patron saint of basic white girl DIY weddings. No idea why they named a whole university after him, but I assume their sports uniforms are all made out of burlap.

oh for sure. it’s 100% about getting eyeballs on ads.

VCU went from every Richmond high school senior’s backup plan to a real estate gobbling behemoth now flush with out-of-state money. Fuckin’ Shaka.

the Dunning-Kruger effect at its finest.