I met my wife at a groery store. We’ve been married for over 10 years. She’s a horrible cunt and we’re going theough a divorce right now, so take that for what it’s worth.

Don't be that guy.

Cry more, tittybaby.

Fuck yourself, bigot.

So... Five Nights at Slippy’s?

The internet had existed for nearly 20 years at that point also. A better title would have been

So, can I consider this Outpost 3?

Titty Lovin’ Donut Receptacle.

Tough Luck; Don’t Resuscitate. A quick google would have yielded the answer.

My entire office just listened to me smashing my keyboard to stop that damn charmin commercial from playing

it’s scary that there is someone out there blaming a baby for getting hit in the head with a beer thrown by a drunk adult. But I’m not Canadian, so I am not well-versed to the local culture and norms....

Are we to assume that the Executive Chief Engineer for Chevrolet has to win the lottery to buy a pedestrian at best Cadillac?

it doesn’t quite have the same impact without the narration. it’s just lots of hard to read text and very little level. points for originality though.

I believe he was thinking more along the lines of don’t put that in the article and instead replace it with something less serious.

Just avoid GMOs

The best packing method is to have your butler prepare your luggage and have them forwarded to your staff at your summer chateau. Alternatively, just keep an identical set of clothing in Monaco so you’ll never have to concern yourself with such trivialities.

Where’s the turbo button?

He defeated the end boss- and you won’t BELIEVE how he did it!

Listen buddy, you are going to need quite a bit of money to keep the initial relationship up, until you can arranging a meeting in person. It sucks, but oftentimes you have to pay for love, it just a bit more structured and upfront this way than the normal dating game. That being said, I have a friend in Nigeria who…