Or this?

"They're better people than us," says Brian Kilmeade. So are things growing on the underside of bridges.

When I saw the phrase "shadow wedding," here are some things I thought it might refer to before I clicked through to read this post:

Not to hate on a child but the family has asked that family members refer to her as Princess Emily. If she's not a holy terror yet, she's about to become a royal pain. ha ha, royal pain! Get it? Topical! NAILED IT.

"The snide comments and casual racism here is just ridiculous."

Congratulations. Emily is gonna grow up to be literally the worst.

Good luck with the rest of fatherhood, buddy.

The fact that he gets paid to take these blurry, no-technique, bullshit disposable-camera-looking pictures makes me want to set things on fire. Even if he wasn't a total shit as a person, he should not be employed in anything involving photography.

That'd be about the best cover ever.

In this order, she:

Oh please. I was everyone's 'worst roommate ever.'

OK, thank you for covering all the bases. HEAR THAT, EVERYONE? The bases are covered, the position has been filled and THESE PIPES ARE CLEAN. Please make sure to comment accordingly.

It is bullshit that Tatiana Maslany is not in this category. BULLSHIT I tell you!

This is so true. I volunteered in a DV shelter they were often afraid to tell anyone what was going on because they had already experienced some trauma in coming out or had not yet come out. Some of the men were reluctant to come forward. I knew of one man who had a heart attack from the stress.

Oatmeal raisin cookies are a product of Satan himself.

Yeah, when my dad made the mistake of complaining to me about how "The Gays will destroy the sanctity of marriage", I sent him this:

My husband and I had to take a very in depth personality quiz before we got married as part of our required church "counseling" and we scored horribly. Like less than 50% compatibility. We've been happily married for 10 years. Those quizzes aren't worth the paper they're printed on. I'd be wary of anyone who uses…

Droids apparently do the exact same thing. #YesAllSmartphones