You can't charge people for one thing and tell them they're paying for another. That is fraudulent. The scales you use to weigh and price food in this manner must be accurate. It's not okay that a scale reads 1.2 lbs when 1lb of food is on it, resulting in higher charges for the customer for food they're not…

Zazu is a hornbill. A HORNBILL I TELLS YA. TOUCANS ONLY LIVE IN THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE. DID YOU NOT READ ZOOBOOKS AS A KID??? WHAT? YOU HAD FRIENDS??? WEIRD.

"If, once per day, Barack Obama killed and ate three of my cousins, I'm not sure how long I'd be a registered democrat."

Oh. My. God. I thought it was bad when I was a server and had to practically read the menu to people, but, "what is the wall?" You win, dude. You totally win.

I've lost count of the amount of times I've been asked by customers what the difference between sugar-coated popcorn and salted popcorn was. One of my co-workers was asked what 'Titanic' was about. I still tell the story of the guy who followed my boyfriend around our foyer because she was convinced he was Tom Hardy…

I had a friend who worked the phones for a computer company and received a call from someone who wanted help as their computer wouldn't work. After many questions it was determined the power had gone out...

I worked tech support in the early 2000's.

Customer: I can't get my new computer on the internet.

That wall/plug story is absolutely amazing. I cannot.....I don't even know where to start.

All day long at work. "How many breadsticks are in a pair?"

Oh God, I got the worst questions in IT. One time working in my school's equipment center (we rented out equipment to students), I had a student ask me if he had to put batteries in the camera to turn it on :( I wanted to tell him, "no, it runs on rainbows and unicorn farts," but I was afraid he might actually think…

Oof, I work in concessions at a movie theater. In addition to the "what comes in the _ and _ combo" regulars, I got one extremely rude guy who asked me how much the candy was. When I told him they varied in price and asked if he had a specific one in mind, he screamed, "HOW MUCH IS THE CANDY?" like I was just…

We had a customer call in the other day who was refusing to do anything to work with us. If we told her to check something, she said she didn't have it. Finally, we told her to check the back of the monitor, which she of course said wasn't there. The response was "Ma'am, everything has a back." One of my favorites.

been there, done that... except mine was a customer turning her monitor on and off and not getting a picture... while her computer was sitting on the floor turned off.

I decided to be a vegetarian in second grade and asked my mom if I had to sign something to be one. She was like, "Um, you just have to stop eating meat." I think I was confused because one of my friends had a family that subscribed to PETA pamphlets, including the especially creepy PETA for Kids ones. (PS: I'm still…

I also worked at this particular place (I immediately emailed my former colleague to be like DID YOU SUBMIT THE ICEPACK STORY TO KITCHENETTE?!) and would just like to note that this was not the last call that was received about eating the ice pack. There exists more than one person who would eat an ice pack over…

These people are nothing compared to me and the level of incredible stupidity I displayed while on vacation. In California, while standing in the lobby of a hotel with a giant fucking window where you could see the beach right across the goddamn street, I asked the clerk "Is this hotel near the beach?" Really for…

I used to work at a store that sold just leather goods, mostly jackets, but also purses and accessories. Leather was the second word in our name. Canadians know what I'm talking about. I could not believe the number of people who would come in, look around sheepishly and ask me, "Do you sell leather here?" Or, "Do you…