Yeah, my dog would be running at 25 mph with that thing bouncing off the pavement behind her.

This is the most expensive, least comfortable movie experience I can think of. Unless there was a package where you could actually watch OITNB in a prison cell.

If people are being named Kale, the question still remains as to what different Kale plants are being named. I think this one looks like a Brad.

Really? I thought it was...

WHAT IS THIS WIZARDRY? I'm going to the movies JUST to do this.

We know Americans don't apologize.

I have heard of this before but I never have the patience to do it. I only ever buy it at the movie theater, and as soon as it's over the counter I rip the packaging open. Usually I'm about finished with the box by the third trailer. (Which, frankly, is probably more polite to fellow moviegoers anyway, given how loud…

My mom has two ex-husbands named Mike and Ike. We like to buy her the candy when we're in a mood.

I'm a gun owner and I do open carry sometimes (when hiking in certain back country areas) and I don't even get the whole "open carry whenever, wherever" thing. I'd rather not be wondering if the jackass at the next table is going to get drunk and pull his gun on someone.

"is their capacity for getting non-crazy gun rights proponents and anti-gun activists to agree on something, that something being "fuck Open Carry Texas.""

I don't hit on customers or touch them.
Good job on making this about the guests and not servers. That didn't take long.

"NO TOUCHY."

Hey, here's an idea, people: how about you just NEVER touch any employee of a shop you're patronizing? Like, ever, for any reason.

I don't know what people are thinking when they grab a server's arm or hand. I've seen this happen so many fucking times and it's frustrating. AND IT'S ALWAYS WHEN THE SERVER IS CARRYING SOMETHING. One of my coworkers got so angry she told a guest "Don't ever touch me again!! If I was different type of person, I could…

Is "lost your sparkle" like "not having enough flare"?

I got a little choked up picturing it. Truly.

Fix'd. I'd rather hear that from you than from some dickhead mainpage commenter going "THIS IS INDICATIVE OF THE DECLINING JOURNALISTIC STANDARDS OF THIS WEBSITE TIME FOR ME TO STOP READING IT BUT WAIT FIRST I MUST COMMENT ON EVERY ARTICLE AND SAY THE EXACT SAME THING FOR THE NEXT FIVE MONTHS."

Wow, this cat is like the Nicolas Cage of cats in terms of expressive reactions.