BUT WHAT ABOUT BEYONCE'S LINKEDIN PROFILE? DID SHE ENDORSE SOLANGE FOR SOCIAL MEDIA AND THEN DELETE IT? I NEED MORE BEY UPDATES.

Oh don't eeeeeven go there with me, OK? Maybe you need to find another site? I have no idea what you're posting here or what this nonsense is all about. I just don't know. If you are suggesting that we don't write about rape, I would suggest you look here.

Seriously! If someone hacked my voicemail, all they would find is a bunch of automated calls from Walgreens saying my prescription is ready.

The suffering and unhappiness of another person is okay if I'm jealous of their material wealth!

I really covet Kate Middleton's wardrobe and her baby is adorable and her marriage seems genuinely happy, but I would not want this life. I know people are like, well she can cry herself to sleep with all her tiaras and £'s, but you could not pay me enough to deal with this shit.

This is what I am saying. Only I had to find a gif, so I took longer.

At first, I was like "Yaaaaaay!"

Just so you know, this is your future.

*cough*Ice Town*cough

"Got it"

Add another baby-less person who got that email and was confused. Until I couldn't fit into any of my summer dresses.

Like, I get it, world, I've put on a few pounds. Et tu, Shutterfly?

I received this email, too. My post menopausal ovaries were quite surprised.

Here, for you:

Summary of most comments (that I can see, thanks nuKinja)

Mr. Z was later overheard saying "I know you are, but what am I?"

i got up early to make it to rockefeller center before 8 to catch her live. the front row was basically all drag queens. best tuesday morning ever.

Tattoos to cover scars...

NOPE.