Floyd’s Owner: I-I-I never thought I’d survive. I totally screwed the pooch here.

Enes Kanter is absolutely right here. Freedom isn’t free.

apples and mandarins

And when he went to practice the next day, a small sign hung in the practice facility that read simply: Zach Brown Banned.

Supporting ethnic cleansing to own the libs, eh?

You know how passionate people get about instant replay? I’m that way about in-helmet headsets. I don’t even like plays being signaled in from the sidelines. And don’t get me started on Chip Kelly’s rebuses.

For the sake of his sister’s health, let’s hope the Jets don’t tie on Sunday.

It’s not like this is the first time American Assholes overplayed their hand...

He used an AARP-15.

I have an incredibly hard time imagining that someone who is good enough to start for the Oranje and was born and raised in the Netherlands would instead choose the clownshow that is the USMNT.

Ah, yes, our border with Mexico between El Paso and San Diego is the perfect place for a water-filled moat filled with wild animals that would need constant attention.

I’m confused.....

I shall invent a device that alerts Dolphins fans when they are being erroneously charged for purchases. It will emit a Dolphin-call shriek if a skimmer is used to rack up a fraudulent charge. I will call it “the Miami Sound Machine.”

Fuck this shit.

like a helicopter.

Bet he didn’t see that coming.

What idiot called it Jalen wanting to leave the Jaguars and not Ramsey Boltin’?

Very fitting for the Giants to give up on a guy the rest of us wrote off 5 years ago

The most underrated band of the ‘90s was Poop Towel.

Is she one of the immigrants who should go back where she came from? It’s so hard to keep up with these things.