(Obviously I am talking about the success and fortune that comes with being a collegiate football player.)

Woman: [ Googles "Floyd Mayweather" ]

More importantly, why is there a soccer game going on in the kitchen?

Clearly the article's author stated it in this manner because he's racist or sexist or culturally insensitive. Or because he knew the same people who accused "pizza" of being pro-domestic violence two weeks ago would have nothing better to do than jump all over him for it, and his ultimate goal was to trick them into…

How else would we know it was her fault?

Boy: "unnnnnhh"

"After further review, it has been determined that the ball carrier was not facing Mecca at the time of his celebration; therefore the penalty stands."

"Sorry about that. Here, have some blankets..."

NFL RUMOR ALERT: Rex Ryan pushing extremely hard to land Ryan Tannehill.

Hopefully he'll Seymour chances in the future.

Cool Whip ads will be running during those games, as well.

Rice and Peterson won't be running during those games either.

Interesting that your jimmies got rustled about a comment that at no point suggested that Jeter is very good at all.

"Doesn't scare me."

Talk about spreading rumors. Ew deadspin.

Checks are useless in camp. It usually takes the Dolphins about 3 games to officially shit the bed.

What's all the fuss about?

Thank goodness Ray chose muted, dark colors. You can much more easily get stains out of that after having all of the NFL Countdown staff spray their coffee out of their mouths in shock.