“You can try movin on all you want. He’s gonna find yah. Back in 83', Olivia and I packed up Peyton and Coop, in the middle of the night, and hightailed it up to Minneapolis. 9 days later, we are awoken by a horrible shriek downstairs. I kid you not, we find Eli stuck, one arm and one leg through the doggie door,…

I’ll admit to some bias, but you really need to get a late-afternoon game at Coors Field in sometime. There’s something just amazing about the sun setting behind the mountains, the sky afire with color, while the Rockies shit the bed on the field in front of you... it’s just incredible.

“Chumba, one of the runners who was led off-course, took fourth.”

When you’re a Jet you’re a Jet all the way

AKA- Pinkeye Challenge

Joe Thomas crawled to retirement through 10,000 snaps of shit-smelling foulness I can’t even imagine- or maybe I just don’t want to. 10,000 snaps...that’s 11 seasons. Just north of a decade. Joe Thomas, who crawled through a river of shit and found himself still in a river of shit on the other side.

He has people skills! He’s good at dealing with people! Can’t you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?!

How dare deadspin publish a post by Mr. Petchesky, with his slavic sounding name, on this, the 5th anniversary of the Ljubljana Marshes hot air balloon crash in Slovenia. I am aghast at the insensitivity.

Mark this date on your colander!

Samer, I thought you hated barstool sports?

Big deal. I can do that with a three wood.

“And if not, Russia committed a backcourt violation by bringing the ball up the court the wrong way.”

Am I the only one who pictures this guy whenever Marchman speaks?

C’mon, that coat’s enormous. It had, like, 7-9 pockets.

Apparently, thinking about baseball didn’t keep the fireworks guy from shooting early.

Probably just a nice long talk about the importance of shear pins, really.

There are just too many Simpsons references that are in play here.