No, you just have to find a licensed falconer to sponsor you, then take a really long and ridiculously detailed multiple choice test. I know, it was a disappointment to me too.

I suspect she only incapacitated the falcon with the scarf. She reported having "beaten" it, and it died of a fractured skull. I'm really fucking angry with this stupid woman.

Politics aside, but that's the most metal sounding hobby besides "Being Lemmy's Mole."

I bet he doesn't even know that 40 is as many as four tens. And that's terrible.

Um, 15+6 = 21 , not 23.

I don't understand not runny egg love. What is the point if you can't dip your toast in it? If eggs were only available hard cooked, I don't think I'd eat eggs.

The Iron Sheik Twitter feed is pure fucking gold.

I have an irrationally ragey reaction when people act like there isn't a proper form for an ellipsis. It's not just a random number of periods. The number you use doesn't change the meaning of the punctuation. It's twitter, there are character limits. Do not waste your fucking characters on unnecessary periods…

This. My bff is a nanny/babysitter-to-the-rich in NYC, and has a college degree. She's been experiencing all this (stupid) pressure to "finally get a 'real' job" because some of our other friends insist on being all like "oh, your still doing that." She was almost in tears the other day because she gets zero respect,…

She gets all of the applause. Cuz y'know, whenever I tried to do cool shit at 15, it went like this:

Meh, they're only using two rooms. I've had worse roommates than spirits who refuse to walk through their walls.

I always find myself wondering why so many heiresses end up as eccentric recluses.

Penny Jordan! Charlotte Lamb! Loveswept! The Zebra books with the shiny stickers! You are taking me baaaaaaaaack.

Turn around, Lindsay Wagner! Robert Redford carved a sleeping kitty out of wood just for you.