If you haven’t watched the Lifetime movie and series starring Christina Ricci, it’s all on Netflix and soooo wonderfully campy.

I was able to start the vaccine the month before I turned 27. You can start it at 26 but not after. It was three shots.

Gigi is about a young girl training to be a courtesan who actually falls in love with her would be sugar daddy...but she’s still like 16. And I think her grandmother was doing the training?

I am heterozygous Factor V Leiden. I have had a deep vein thrombosis and a pulmonary embolism. I am not allowed to take hormonal birth control because it could kill me.

His face is an inside out asshole that is impossibly puckered. His face has pink sock.

They spent more sending the US Marshals after him than he owed. A strongly worded, but apologetic, letter with a fucking remit envelope would’ve done the same thing.

I LOVE YOUR PICTURE WHO IS ALSO MY BIRTHSTONE AND IN MY WEDDING RING.

I don’t have any more disposable income at 34 than I did at 24. I always thought it ridiculous to spend a huge amount of money on a diamond. Who fucking cares? Yes, you should spend a little more money getting a decent ring because it should stand up to day to day wear. But who cares what the stone is?

Our cat was so fat, we have to isolate her during feedings. She always wanted to be cuddly but when she was at her fattest we wouldn’t let her because she wouldn’t regularly self-clean...she COULD, just wouldn’t.

It took YEARS of berating my mother about her just throwing her trash out the window before I think she stopped. Every time she’d pull that shit, I’d give her the “we are five fucking minutes from home. You can throw it away then."

I wish so badly gifs still worked on Kinja for me.

I would also be pretty ok with Susan Sarandon.

I love having another factoid of weird ways animals have sex.

I don’t have any this old but I DO have a bunch of Valentine’s my dad got in the late 50s/early 60s...including a “I choo choo choose you!”

I love that the ad that showed up for me for this article was telling me to go see Deadpool.

Yes.

I wonder how frequently NatGeo has to label what they consider non-obvious penises.

Weren’t there already like three Cruel Intentions sequels?

It’s good to know where Trump stands on people making “choices."

I had Mirena from late August to mid December of 2015. I had a miserable, soul crushing period for like two of those months.