Ever since the Halo series started, I’ve been hoping Star Wars would also get an entry that has the guts to say “You know, it’s kind of fucked up that the supposed heroes of this franchise regularly kidnap children to raise as soldiers.” This review and some others give me hope that this might be getting there.

Tonight is What it Means to be Young is actually so awesome that it literally saved the entire movie. The studio execs were very underwhelmed with the footage they were seeing and were on the verge of scrapping the whole thing, but then Steinman delivered that song and they loved it so much that they let the movie be…

And then he rewrote to be about vampires, in German.

He also came up with the “blue is glue, red is dead” bit, after Bird and the rest had been having serious trouble with how to make clear how the gloves worked without bogging down the scene with too much exposition.

The really interesting thing is the villain was supposed to be played by Nicholas Hoult until he couldn’t get away from The Great, which presumably means all the stuff about his past with Ethan wasn’t originally there. I’m five years older than him and I wasn’t yet a teenager when the first movie came out.

I just want to hear what Bill Burr thinks, after his whole thing about people being too hard on Sterling.

The Acolyte has already been super interesting just from how the need to make the show look interesting without a single established character to fall back on has forced the marketing team to flex muscles it hasn’t used in years.

I just have to point out, that’s a 54 year old woman in that picture. I’m talking especially here to those people who complained about Ruby’s age makeup in the last Doctor Who.

I’m hoping people keep saying he looks a lot like someone, and then name one of the actors from the first two movies.

So, he’s the killer, right? It’s always the MCU hero.

Why would you preemptively announce this? Let us discover it by, you know, watching the movie, which you presumably want us to do.

I’d call Freaky Newton’s breakout role more than Lisa Frankenstein. And now she’s a full horror-comedy goddess with those two plus Abigail.

So, this is 100% laying the groundwork for “All the stuff you hated about the ending was changes they made, I totally didn’t change my intended ending after everyone hated it,” right?

There’s also the theory that Max’s mind completely broke after the murder of his family, and ever since he’s just in a padded cell, imagining getting sweet revenge, and then increasingly wild adventures, eventually even making his new nemesis look just like the guy who took everything from him.

I won’t be impressed until they threaten germ warfare on any theater showing it. North Korea upped the game, let’s see you match it, snowflake.

There’s two major theories: The first movie is what really happened and the others are legends that future generations made about Max, or he suffers a total psychotic break from the murders of his family and ever since is locked up and fantasizing about increasingly wild revenge stories.

“Taylor-Joy is said to have about 30 lines throughout the film, making the most of her expressive eyes, paired with Furiosa’s established iconography.”

Super fitting that his death is overshadowed by the Dogecoin dog dying on the same day.

A Disney rep has put out a statement claiming that filming everything like she was isn’t allowed, which is why everyone refused to interact with her. Which she immediately called out as obvious bullshit, since A. a whole ton of people did it through the hotel’s entire lifespan, and B. you’re saying their response…

Ryan Gosling counts, I’d say. Just witness his commanding everyone’s attention during I’m Just Ken at the Oscars.