He actually resigned several weeks ago, but he didn’t think he had to report it to the school.

I’m frankly a bit disappointed he didn’t attempt two more challenges after the first.

Like he cares about helping people avoid excessive force. Hell, I saw 3 G’s just reading his name.

When the White Sox traded Addison Reed for Davidson, people were upset. I told them that we were trading a closer for a closer. They called me a fool, a drunk, a spaz, a pervert, an illiterite.  Now whose laughing?!  I am

“Barstool Radio, a show enjoyed exclusively by Deloitte interns who wish they were still in college”

I usually have to go to White Castle for my horse beef.

Maybe Restoring Hope just came to the conclusion that life is meaningless and winning wouldn’t bring him any joy; but coming in last would greatly dishonor the weird little person who rides and kicks him, like he’s somehow the dominant species. Horse enthusiasts are the worst

One of them can have Jersey Number 5, the other can have Jersey number 10.

Those jerseys should sell hand over whatever.

You are an incredibly stupid person.

Not really. Its to pump as many articles as possible out to justify this sites continued existence. And then pat themselves on the back for being brave enough to publish this garbage.

You’re such a brave hero for pointing out that nothing happened to a man who was never charged with a crime and settled a lawsuit.

would this story have been written if he did not win gold?

I mean, he did lose a drummer.

Docking for germaphobes

Watch this space for my upcoming article, “Deadspin Commenters Whose Reading Skills Are Butt.”

Oldest trick in the book. Jimmy’s gonna fill his bindle with everyone else’s clothes.

Thanks for letting us know which jokes are acceptable.

Things that will be said in the Verlander bedroom tonight: “BJ, Upton.”

I started a pizza-themed Janis Joplin cover band called Big Mozarella and the Pepperoni Company just so I could play Take Another Little Pizza My Heart…I'm ashamed of myself for even attempting to be funny with this lame shit.