This is the kind of shit that makes me wish Hell was real. Then these hatemongering fucks could burn in it.

He’ll give ya 5 extra bucks if you can cry a little while you’re at it.

He’s not just a congressman, he’s a member!

If you work the pauses built into the song a little, Boomer Sooner is the best college fight song...to make your friends beg you to please stop.

I used to save the extra garlic butter from pizza delivery for just that purpose.

Thats some lazy ass FG Defense if the Holder doesn’t even need to keep an eye on anyone while Kicker throws.

Erie is lazy AF.

I want to go see Bumblebee at the theater, but I don’t need that many people to see me sloppy crying and blubbering.

The Low(ering) of the Flies

Stranger In a Strange Blonde

To Fill a Mocking Bird

The Sinned in the Pillows

The Scarlett Licker

The Great Glans-by

“Shitter’s full! of corpses.”

-This has been Things I Imagine People Saying To John Waters.

I can chug WAY more Nyquil than that!

David Coppafeel

Burfict just insured his nut smacking hand with Lloyd’s of London.

Wow! You really do know a lot of knots!