he offered to go get ice cream with the kid to patch things up.

People who type in all caps.

Ray, as always, bringing the goods. I hope you get another full-time gig soon, although I really look forward to your stuff here.

I really like these features because they make it much safer to twiddle on my phone while driving.

Sorry, mate, the job’s Taycan!

Ugh, too soon. Take your stupid star, and also this VHS copy of highlights from the 1992 Dallas Cowboys’ thrilling march to the Super Bowl.

Two words: Cheap. Grace.

Well, we've already done the part where we elect Hitler. 

I have an incredibly hard time imagining that someone who is good enough to start for the Oranje and was born and raised in the Netherlands would instead choose the clownshow that is the USMNT.

to be fair, there are probably 2 or 3 other things in German history worth skipping before the wall

Art. Briles.

two words: Jay Paterno

You would literally never see a Millennial do something like this.

Nah, you’re good. 

I was rightfully called out for putting Jadeveon there, but I’m not gonna let David on there though. Sorry Derek.

Networks pay millions for ex-players to explain these things to viewers, and 99 times out of 100 it’s obvious the analyst just tries to wow the viewer with jargon from their playing days and fill the airtime with word salad. Watson is more helpful and succinct in that clip than any of them. Does CTE make them…

You’re a fucking terrorist, and even though I don’t fuck with the police like that, I am calling them right now gotdammit. 

You are greatly underestimating the size, scope and resources of the Christian Dominionist movement in America.

Trump’s got a Sharpie that’ll remedy that oversight real soon...

the Boston tea party was symbolic, but nobody today is calling that a waste of time.