“Buy Ivanka’s stuuuuuuuuuuff”

Jack is a wonderful ball of floof.

Oh, my heart. So adorable.

Does that dog stack wood artistically outside of his cottage? No.

I love that fucker’s reasoning “Why should we have to subject them to that?”

“Sexually mature” in a biological sense just means that they’ve gone through puberty and would be capable of reproducing. It’s an appropriate term to use to discuss a 13-year-old. What’s inappropriate is suggesting that sexual maturity (in the biological sense) makes it OK to have sex with a 13-year-old.

Yo, so I skillfully combined two memes in one: ‘How it feels to listen to a podcast’ & ‘woman laughing alone with salad’. I’m ... a very lonely person.

“The sound of someone listening” is definitely a thing! I remember hearing that extra click when someone would pick up another land line in the house back in the day. Or maybe breathing? 911 operators are trained to pick up on that shit.

At the end of the day, I agree

Time to mix it up. “Buttflake” and “Snowhurt” will do.

I tend to find that, the larger someone’s cross is on their necklace, the more likely they are to do deeply non-Christian shit.

The Secret is a great book. I picked up a hardcover copy at a used bookstore, glued the back cover shut, cut out the pages, and turned it into a hollowed-out book case for my ereader. I get the occasional odd look, but its from somebody who clearly has no idea what my copy’s secret really is.

Ahem, that’s a 20,000-seat educational facility, TYVM.

I read that too and back then I was all “nah, we’ll be okay”. Now, I shiver.

ISD = Independent School District. You can find them all over Texas; just ask for directions to the nearest 20,000-seat high school football stadium.

I got called “Sir” at the Arbys drivethrough, it made me frown. I’m only 32.

“Unless it’s a knighthood fuck off”

Seriously considering making this my new default email reply at work.

My only takeaway from this is that I found a great new response for when I don’t wanna deal with something.

Unless it’s a knighthood fuck off.

Well thats because youre not a knight.