Poster of the other candidates. The donkey! I love little donkeys!

I mean, it’s Kentucky, does it really matter?

Aww, what a sweetie. Pits have the best smiles.

I could barely handle Bing-Bong’s death when I took my kids to Inside Out! This sounds PTSD inducing. Hard pass.

Are you talking about the U.S. or N. Korea?

He conceded I was right

That’s so odd. I’ve never been to Texas, but I immediately think Branch Dividians and fireball when I hear Waco.

(Shiplap on a shingle you’re welcome)

Where are Caity and Rich when we need them??

Waco in 1992

Listen, when you’re a parent it is your job to be as embarrassing to your kid as humanly possible. That’s just science.

Seeing Paul Ryan lose would be amazing.

“I hope she leaves me whatever medical marijuana she’s got left when she dies.”

Yeah, I figured either he was making it up or the other guy was just mind-fucking him.

Mueller’s working on it.

I always imagined Jared sounding like Gilbert Gottfried.

P has always been able to go into the sea have you never been in the ocean?

oh right, pay a premium so you don’t have to deal a certain *wink wink* part of the population. we get ya.

“Tradition.”

Kenny Lofton is still playing.