The house next door turning into a fraternity with no Zac Efron

You know he’s watching you as you type that, don’t you? Right through your computer and now you’re on a list. ETA: It’s just a list for kitchen hacks but they will never stop coming...

Will he make Gronk secretary of anal probing?

A giant fuck no to both Mark Zuckerberg and The Rock. You want to get into public service, boys? Run for mayor, dog catcher, what the fuck ever, not the leader of the free world, ok? Who the fuck wants Mark Zuckerberg anyway?

I just pretended it said Tonight Show with Jimmy Connors. That helped.

Plot twist: she’s really a lesbian and hates herself, trying to justify this self loathing through Bible interpretations, and needs to act out against it to keep herself in check.

Good one Nana!

You forgot one of the most influential baby groups of all time:

I think you meant they treat it like a bank book.

I turn 37 on Friday and still feel guilty for making my mom wait in line for Space Mountain at Disney World and then chickening out at the moment we were about to get on the ride. I was 7.

“I think, nowadays, sadly, money trumps patriotism. Especially, recently, I personally feel like we’re not really very patriotic, the country, in a certain sense. They want these movies to succeed internationally, so they’re going to dial back.”

OMG just stahp Kathy, you’re just making it so much worse.

That’s for the French Open, not all his clay matches.

Just read this stat:

That girl is a stone cold bamf. Keep winning lil queen.

Griffin and Bloom will hold a press conference Friday morning, during which they will reportedly “explain the true motivation behind the image,

Kathy, Geri, Rob - this whole dirtbag is My Life on the D-List: Hey don’t forget about me I exist!

I literally no nothing. I am the Jon Snow of shade.

It usually only means the latter, but Nico has been on the tour a long time in tennis years, and he had just come back from an injury to his foot to be playing full strength when he hurt his knee in Rome against Rafa

Unfortunately, this will only be the second most devastating withdrawal from Paris today.