FYI the pic you used is one of a kid eating dippin dots...so.....

#BlackTopMatters

The 0-3 Cardinals have struck out a combined 37 times in their three losses.

yuo son of a bitch

you want to know about pressure, i’ll tell you about pressure man. try being the guy responsible for making donald trump that shade of orange. it’s a full time job of making sure he overeats the right amount of carrots and tomatoes — no spray tan shit or I’ll get the old famous “Your Fired!” line. Every morning he…

you want to know about pressure, i’ll tell you about pressure man. try being the guy responsible for making donald…

You’re alright, Jeff.

I thought he had leprosy.

That excerpt was great, Jeff.

Dr. Jobe actually conceived of the surgery based on a ligament-replacement procedure done to polio patients’ ankles. I think Chris Kluwe should jump in to answer the latter.

Can you perform a similar surgery on the leg and if so, how would that affect your ability to punt a football?

*Swings and breaks bat*
Sensei! No!

Neat little fact: the “crosse” in “lacrosse” means the stick itself. In other words, lacrosse is French (or bastardized French-Canadian) for “the lacrosse stick.”

It might be time for the Mets to convert Harvey into a reliever.

I already get the Deadspin newsletter and it’s the NCAA pool reply allpocalypse.

Pant O’Mime was going to attend White Sox camp to appear at White Sox camp today, but Kenny Williams barred his son, Sweetchild O’Mime from the facilities. The younger O’Mime, with a tear in his eye, looked to his father and mouthed the words “Where do we go now?”

That’s what happens when you have a long-term relationship like we do, Deadspin Highlight Truth Center In Secaucus. Sure, when we do sex now it goes to strange places, but that just keeps it interesting. As I always say—once you lose that spark, you’re no better than a poker player who doesn’t even enjoy the rush of…

I guess some people just feel compelled to correct others in the comment section. I clicked the little star next to your grey comment because it was so faint I couldn’t even read it and now I wholeheartily regret my decision.

Actually, dip shit, he's talking about *draw* poker. You don't get to ask for more cards in regular poker.

I agree with Barry on this one—it’s not best practices to diagnose. The best practices are ones where you do good hitting and fielding and your dad takes you out to Del Taco afterwards and he says to you, “You didn’t embarrass me today, son, so you can sleep on a mattress tonight,” and then he follows through on his…

“Aww, look at that. I love eating pussy.” -Chris Christie, moments before literally eating that cat