“He made 34.1 million dollars???!?! Holy cannoli, that’s like earning 34.1 million cannoli!” -Chris Christie

And speaking of Pitchfork, Chris Christie finds it to be a convenient utensil for shoveling spaghetti and [mario voice] esspicy meat-a-balls! into his rapacious pig-beast mouth.

I love you, Chid. +1

I agree that you are stupid and bad.

This summer, I vacationed in Vermont and everywhere I went there were signs that said “Grade A Maple Syrup.” So one afternoon, I went into one of the stores and took a few samples. I honestly didn’t know where to begin! The A-F scale seems played out, and I didn’t want to be pretentious about it, like Pitchfork, and…

Actually she can’t shop in them because she believes subtracting 11 from 7 gives you one of the “devil’s numbers”.

Well, at least it’s not the worst thing to fall out of a Bengal’s pickup truck.

Considering you’re a lawyer, I have a hard time believing this is your first time commenting on Deadspin. What’s your ‘other’ handle?

1. Is cockfighting legal?

If you dig back further, you’ll find Schlereth tell Thenextking83, “There’s a reason God didn’t call it the Bering Homosexual.”

Stevie Wonder isn’t blind

“To the tree! To the tree!”

Typical millennial. All meme meme meme.

What’s the plan to reverse the site’s cratering traffic? More guides on how to act normal around minorities?

“All our knowledge begins with the senses, proceeds then to the understanding, and ends with reason. There is nothing higher than reason, except for this air ball.”

Based on his proclivity for ankle strains, i’m gonna have to guess that Steve Francis does know a thing or two about rolling joints.

Hopefully all the people who say blacks only eat fried chicken and watermelon will now drop those racist stereotypes, and replace them with the racist stereotypes in this article.

Andy Van Slyke, Clayton Kershaw and Yasiel Puig, is an alphabetized list of human names.

He’ll reportedly be replaced on a interim basis by assistant coach J.B. Bickerstaff.

Watergate