Typical hug behavior.

This is not what LL Cool J had in mind, at all.

"Book 'em. He's clearly under the influence if he thinks he can drive."

The game ball goes to Justin's Dad for clearing the lane beforehand.

Given his attractions to red and white canopies it's a good thing Sharon Trembley only practices takeoffs and landings on Saturdays.

Before you judge, I'd like to see one of you stay on the wagon for an entire baseball game.

You can tell the Dad is a real Marlins fan, letting his son go like that. Kid's way too old.

That would make him the only Astro who could even come close to hitting 315.

Everyone has been telling Amador he should try out for The Biggest Loser.

Sabermetricians are having a field day with this guy. Sure, his WAR and BABIP are low, but his LDL is off the charts!

A bucket was placed at his feet.

If you could get out of grey, or when you get out of grey? I'm waiting...

Heh. About five years ago a doctor told my golfing partner/cousin-in-law that every morning he woke up was a blessing. He's six months younger than I am and showing signs that his heart is beginning to really struggle. Kinda gives one a new perspective to consider. But b'golly we're going to hit the course as much as…

So I wrote/made/graphic'd/whatever'd this, after learning the most-penalized game ever played in NHL history happened exactly 10 years ago... yesterday. (Learning about anniversaries a day late, very Deadspin.)

6) How many bats do you own? 2

Can I have a column? It'll be called "Sport of Law" and each week I'll pronounce various prominent newsmakers in the world of sport "Guilty" or "Not guilty" of hilariously offbeat offenses. Here's an example.

Is A.J. still alive? You guys don't have to answer this if you think it'll be too much of a downer.

FUCK NO, there's hockey out the ass. Don't you want more hockey? Everybody loves hockey.

Eh, Armen Tamzarian sends his regards.