tore my quad just watching that video

Meatloaf? Domino’s Pizza? Add a Krispy Kreme donut and that’s known as teh Chris Christie hat trick!11!!!1!

Look at that face. He just can’t believe Pink Floyd has lied to him all these years. WHERE’S THE OTHER BRICK IN THE WALL, MAN.

Too bad the same can’t be said for Vesper.

were those tunnels as long as the way it took you to get to this punchline?

This guy’s got a real fucked up definition of a “Perfect 10”

Mario Lemieux and Sidney Crosby are the two most important players to a team in NHL history. The Pens are really only in the positive during their respective reigns.

pizza is a food that consists of dough, tomato sauce, cheese, and if you like, tiny little stinky fish.

Oh first a guy named Deez Nuts runs for President and now Jason and Cool Stuff are out on the court flaunting the recent Supreme Court decision? Where will it end?

*Portuguese Water dog trots onto the field*
look guys, this is how it’s done:
*dives*
all players on both sides get red cards

How far can he punt a football?

just like most human’s reactions when they realize they’re in Bristol

Dear God, I am thrilled and humbled that you took time to answer me, but this is not what I meant when I prayed for bigger hands.

eyelids? More like naylids, amirite?

smh at all these 49ers getting in trouble with the law

[don’t fart don’t fart don’t fart don’t fart don’t fart don’t f ]

You taking off early again this week, ya bums?

WHY DON’T THEY JUST MAKE THE WHOLE CONDOM OUT OF SALIVA THEN?!!?!

What about the part of the transcript where Brady admitted that he thought the Boston Marathon bombers had some good ideas?

He’s smilin’ like a butcher’s dog!