Buy Nick a drink and get his dog one, too!

Never thought I’d see the day when a guy in a black QB jersey would have the freedom to destroy a robot. Racism is truly dead.

me, I would say: Vic, the brick.

Hi Molly, if you were advising an NFL quarterback with a dog fighting incident in his past on which of the three little pigs’ houses to visit, what would you tell him?

Who knew that the Cardinal Way was actually a gold brick path that led back to it’s own offices?

I think all us Mets fans should start a fund to get the extra money to get Gomez. Here, I’ll start with $100 of my own dollars. Okay, now 10 of you give me $100 and I’ll put in this account I have with an incredible rate of return. If each of you can get 10 more investors, you’ll get AT LEAST a 50% return, AND 25%…

aliens, that’s who. and not the kind that Donald Trump hates. although he probably hates those kind of aliens too. oh Donald, what will you hate next?

“During our telephonic meeting today, the board was briefed on our recent discussions...” said the guy who is definitely NOT an alien trying to siphon off earth’s precious natural resources.

I’m in.

Pictured: A shadow of himself and a shadow of his former self and Rupert, Wes’s invisible best friend.

Tim, will you throw a party and invite only married, old men? I’m feeling left out by certain RBs who shall remain nameless.

“There are more Steelers fans than Titans fans in this city.” I’m hoping the Yinzer’s responses to this line comprise a good chunk of the Steelers Why Your Team Sucks post.

You leave Chris Christie out of this. He’s a good man. Incredibly fat and racist, but good.

love too tweet

what the? 3PM? but who’s gonna tell me how to feel about the Tom Brady decision when it’s released in an hour? And what if some unbelievable internet deal happens? WHERE WILL I TURN?

Mike Dunne

Junior Ortiz

Orlando Merced

Sammy Khalifa

and Seth Cohen was doing all he could to help out Gronk on the bass.