I’d like to thank my teammates, the NHL, the academy, the tiny little glass elves whose lives were lost creating this magnificent trophy. Wait! Stop the music! I’m not done. What? Sure there is! Everybody can hear Rocket Man playing. Fine, whatever. This thing is a key to the spaceship right? I’m out of here. One last…

Wow, these FIFA bribes are getting really out of hand.

[John Lennon starts singing]

The Texans actually spoiled the deal when they asked to look in Peyton’s mouth.

Move over Tom Emansk, the new Tony La Russa batting instruction video is sweeping the nation!

This Vine has a better chance at landing him a job than his degree from Miami.

More like the UAB Blazarus

It’s all fun and games until his stepdad, an Alabama alum, comes down to the dugout to put out the flames by beating Nolan with a ‘pretend’ wet blanket.

This is all just a terrible misunderstanding. He wants everyone to know that he doesn’t discriminate against any of the parasites currently living on him, whether they be rich or po’

Some lucky pig is gonna happen along that dump and build a house that will stand against the big bad wolf for a long, long time. Perhaps until the Cubs next championship. But probably not that long.

A disabled vet sits outside LP Field in his wheel chair, an ‘Anything helps’ sign resting in his lap. As he doses off, a gentleman slips a pair of tickets into his donation jar. The vet awakes and sees the addition to his collection of coins. He reaches into his jacket and takes out his pen and adds the word ‘Almost’…

This list ranking forgotten football players has Najeh Davenport in the wrong spot.

For my good friend grunge banjo:

I disavow any knowledge of this incident and have never met Kim Min-woo.

bear baiting is illegal, and this is why the warriors don’t deserve to win

Old school commenter you’d most like to see come back?

sammy?

oh thank god.

Is this kid related to Mookie Wilson?

They were going to fire Ed Hochuli, but he threated to sue them for infringement of his 2nd amendment rights — the right to bear those magnificent arms.