There was a time in the '80s where Alda was kind of a joke, because he was Mr. Empathy, always preaching about equality and respect. In the age of Reagan he was decidedly far to the left and seemed to be an anachronism. I would suggest that in the current age of President Pussy Grabber his "old school" views would…

Oh…never mind

What's all this fuss I hear about our bi-camel system. First of all, their sexuality is their own business. Secondly, I don't think camels are allowed to run for office.

Small role, barely recognized her, and I guessed her character's secret

You have to use the official two-ply comment form

Caught The Accountant on HBO tonight. What a waste of a stellar cast. Ben Affleck's method of playing autistic is to channel his inner Spock. I can't think of a good reason for Anna Kendrick's role other than to function like a Doctor Who companion and ask questions. Big disappointment.

The unexplained thing about sound to me is why The Chainsmokers are popular.

It's not like the dog could say no

Wait, I thought it was Tom's Long Penis Hard

That's A Series Of Expected Events

Bill Maher was hoping they were playing Smear The Queer instead

When someone offers to leave a burning bag of dog shit on a front porch for me, I'll get a lot more interested

Explains why the evangelicals are afraid of 666

Patrick Henry was dead on when he said "Give me Liberty, or give me a real education"

For homework, please re-read the Gospel According to St. Contradiction

Great Danes are just Danes with good publicists

He didn't mention having a plot, though
In the real world this would be Top Gun: Retired And Replaced By A Drone

If To Kill A Mockingbird is children's lit then I don't want to grow up.

A gentleman's mustache never tells, although I have no doubt that his mustache is sentient and self-aware

And Bert and Ernie in the shower together seems perfectly reasonable now