To me, watching Burnett or Korman try not to laugh makes the skit funnier, and Conway was brilliant at picking at that scab. However, watching Jimmy Fallon laugh at everything to make a sketch about him is NOT funny and Fallon is pretty shameless in my opinion

I love a good negroni, so I usually have a bottle of gin around. But every area has their local distillery making pretty good gin because gin doesn't have to be aged, so a new distillery can make money selling gin while aging something else. My problem is that most of these local gins are pricey, compared to…

I'd never even heard of Pepe before a few weeks ago so it's not like Pepe has bothered me greatly. But I understand why the trend could be very troubling. And I sure don't want to get to the point of images of Santa checking kids' Visa paperwork before leaving presents

If only the South had told their slaves they were on a TV show called The Apprentice we could have avoided a lot of bloodshed

Use your phone to call the GOP Crisis Of Conscience Hotline. Only $500 per minute, long distance charges apply

Bad News: AHCA considers natural disasters a pre-existing condition
Good News: AHCA provides for bulk discounts so you don't have to cram corpses into one coffin

I've never brought a scorecard with me when taking a shit. Someone needs to post an official one

Did you use a Mexican midget on Cinco De Mayo? I have to insist on politically correct shits

Because some people in Tennessee have nothing better to do. Evidently a long term problem there ever since the Scopes trial back in 1925.

I believe the killing of first-born sons, as well as parting the Red Sea will be on America's Got Talent instead.

I love Cinco de. Hold the Mayo.

What does he have to be happy about? Being married to a Kardashian is a pre-existing condition

SPOILERS: all post credits scenes in Guardians Of The Galaxy 2 are SPAM recipes

Highlander: Endgame was shit on by the critics so I watched it with some trepidation. I ended up thinking it was the best in the series (I've always thought the original is overrated). It was a good payoff for people that watched the TV show, but I can see how people that didn't watch the show might have been lost.

Jamie And Joanie
Nah. Sounds like a bad sitcom

No surprise there's a shortage. It takes time to build a fighting force of extraordinary magnitude

Michael J Fox should co-star and call it Back To The Hot Tub

Bloom County skewered the Dewar's profile with the Steve Dallas Dewar's profile. I like Scotch but that whole campaign was pretentious as hell. And I really miss Bloom County

Now I'm confused. I thought the Cavity Creeps were KGB agents.

My wife actually likes the Filet O Fish. I told her it's like a gateway food for Soylent Green