First they came for online poker, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not an online poker player. .

The delay makes it seem like an afterthought on the car’s part.

He doesn’t want people to know that as the owner of Arsenal, he is incapable of actually going #1 or #2.

#blackcoffeematters

Remember kids: Black Lives Matter is a bunch of whiners who are looking for reasons to be offended. The real oppression is a lack of Christmas iconography on your coffee cups.

I don’t know. They may have a point. Those cups don’t look anything like the ones Jesus drank his Gingerbread Lattes out of.

+7.5

Head coach Pete Carroll said that Lockette will miss the rest of this season, but that he doesn’t know if the injury is career ending.

“He has full motion and feeling in all extremities...”

Normally if I want ice cold air blasted my way I just ask my wife a question.

“Yeah, see, here’s your problem: these teams fucking suck.”

He now officially has a better prognosis than the Lakers.

I’ve been told it’s Spanish for “the Nino.”

Somewhere Ryan Fitzpatrick’s son is thinking:

Please change the title. Amazon isn’t at fault here and having them in the title implies they are.

Should A-Rod be charged with murder or just involuntary manslaughter?

Yeah. What I said there. It wasn’t the most eloquent rendering of what I’m thinking. My point is, if you’re a Bears fan, like myself, you know that people still talk about the ‘85 Super Bowl like it’s somehow still relevant. It isn’t, but the Bears are always trying to be THAT team, to have THAT identity. The Cubs…

+1

My dog had the same eyelid surgery as Lisa. They actually had to remove the foreskin from his penis to create new eyelids. He is perfectly fine now, just a little cockeyed.