That’s not how you use Throwing Shade. And that’s not the correct usage of Stay Woke. Gawker commentators sound like Hillary Clinton but somehow less cool and trying way harder.

This is Hall Of Fame level shade. Stay woke, Tom.

Tom had the greatest Twitter burn of all time:

Man, that’s crazy!

“2 outs, bottom of the 9th in young Scotty’s life”

What’s the big deal? This was only like 3% more depressing than any of the other Cub games that Scott watched.

please let us know at tips@deadspin.com

I wasn’t really impressed at first. But judging from the sound, it’s definitely harder than it looks.

Everyone thought it was great until they remembered the number of times they’ve played beer pong at his house.

Stevie Wonder isn’t blind

Poor little guy. I bet he was exhausted.

In defense of Microsoft: If multiple devices goes down, it probably the actual source of the connection and not the devices. No way do they all just fail at the same time.

Don’t blame Microsoft. It’s not their fault the tablets are full of spyware.

I’m still getting reply-alls from the CBS NCAA Deadspin tourney. This was a week ago.

The real hero of this video is the dude on the Smith Machine pausing from his reps just long enough to shake his head dismissively.

The guy squatting in the Smith machine is still more embarrassing.

what is that first guy doing, taking a shot from midcourt with 5 seconds left.

but they’ll have to settle for knowing they contributed to this basketball season’s all-time highlight reel.

It’s still dumb that you can’t just watch games in your home market. My parents can’t get NESN in rural Maine but have internet and could watch in with MLB.TV. My grandpa (99 years old) just wants to watch the Phillies but has trouble walking to the TV and would much rather be able to watch on the iPad. I’m sure there…