ACTUALLY you can be upset and also still plan to take action. Please don’t tell others how to act or feel.

My best friend and college roommate for three years is a conservative, and was a member of the college Republicans. He was (and is) an exemplary conservative and one whom I wish the party was full of.

Republicans of unusual sentences? I know they exist:

They're both married to black people so it's ok.

Having lived in/around Knoxville for two years a decade or so ago, it was frightening to see how men in that area (and other parts of the south, I’ve learned in the subsequent decade) dehumanize women who use profanity. The man can be a stumbling drunk who curses like a sailor himself, but if a women so much as utters…

Or we could love Bernie because we handle the checkbook and know things aren’t adding up in the economy to secure our children’s future... Could be that we don’t want another capitalist, warmongering tycoon... Could be that we can look past gender and see that Bernie talks about what we need; Hillary only gives spin…

I understand that this guy is easy to hate, but I really think he is a distraction. In the grand scheme of things, Martin Shkreli is just a small symptom of a much bigger disease. We pay more for prescription drugs in the U.S. than anyone in any other modern (and not so modern) country. Martin Shkreli didn’t cause…

OR you can try and fight for those things here instead of being a giant pussy who is too scared to fight for those things in your own homeland. This is why people think liberals are pussies. They are too scared to actually get their hands dirty to fight for what they believe in. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Can we knock it the fuck off with the ‘Sander’s supporters are naïve and think he’s magic socialist Santa Claus who will enact his entire platform with a wave of his magic wand’ narrative? Seriously. Like, we fucking understand political reality. We know that a good portion of Sander’s platform is going to be…

A sadistic reality TV show idea: lock this douche, Ted Cruz, and Donald Trump in a studio apartment. Provide lots of alcohol, not quite enough food, and no hair products.

That’s kind of how I eat a Nutty Bar (the chocolate peanut butter wafers). I pull the wafers apart and eat it in layers.

Running over siblings was the fun part!

Act like a lady, completely fuck up like a man.

Well... let’s see.

Oh cum all ye faithful.

*blearily stares at screen*

So, when I was in kindergarten, I wasn’t allowed to carry an umbrella on the bus.

HELLO FELLOW BLUE COLLAR HUMANS, I, HILLARY CLINTON, RELATE TO YOU, AS YOU CAN SEE, BY THIS GIANT PIECE OF FARM EQUIPMENT