Goddamn, his fucking tweets are stupidity made tangible, almost physical.

Fundamentally, I agree with them. I think Three True Outcomes baseball is among the worst modern variations of the game, and an obvious over-reaction to the strikeout-heavy power outage of the post-steroids era.

I hate to align myself even slightly with the Old Men Yelling At Clouds, but I also do not find the Three True Outcome Era to be a particularly enthralling version of the game.

I mean, if you’re gonna unfurl a ‘Trump 2020’ flag somewhere, you might as well do it where the people there are so stupid they went to an Orioles game in August.

Mea culpa. I forgot that playing at Duke makes Jones whiter than white, so Mayfield looks like a person of color by comparison.

“They forget you've gotta win," said the Cleveland Browns quarterback.

“How do you tell a 10-year-old little girl who got a Ruger 10/22 with a pink stock for her birthday that her rifle is an assault weapon and she has to turn it over to government or be arrested for felony possession?” Hammer asked at the meeting.

Your idiot murder toys should be melted into scrap and the 2nd amendment is fit for nothing more than toilet paper.

Mumford and Sons was in town last week. My girlfriend and her friends had tickets (I had declined) and in preparation for the show, we listened to their newest album while making dinner.

Why do you hate the troops and America

Rooting for the Yankees or the Cowboys without and direct links to those teams or areas is probably a sign that you are a bad person. 

Cher will almost definitely still be alive in 200 years, so she might make the cut.

AMELIA EARHARDT???  What kind of nonsense is that?

Umm, that was about Sean Astin. And he’s probably more famous that Rudolph Valentino. 

They made the movie Rudy about his life.

*Hit by Popemobile

A “shelled” pistachio means it has the shell removed. In yet another inexplicable quirk of the English language, to “shell”, verb, means to remove the shell from a nut, seed or pod. So perhaps his girlfriend assumed the shell had already been removed if he was referring to them as “shelled pistachio”?

I give the edge to historical figures being the most famous. How many people are going to remember somebody like Cher or even Michael Jackson in 200 years?

Who? 

I don’t know. In order to be famous somebody would have to be able to recognize your face, right? Well, just try to get somebody to accurately depict the prophet Muhammad. All of a sudden everybody’s memory gets real foggy.