I was legit worried about Drew when I heard what happened.  I had too hoped that he would write in the way that Drew does about this.   

WIFE: Do you want the windows open?
ME: Nah, I’m fine.
WIFE: Okay I’ll open the windows a little.

And then you remembered Trump would never do that

Pelicans fan here. Everyone can kiss my ass he’s our hostage. 

This is certainly not an ideal outcome, but man, that 40 seconds when I thought the league was gifting Zion to LA to save the Lakers was absolutely excruciating

You don’t understand, the Pelicans are the very first team ever to not be good with a superstar on their team. Davis must be traded to a huge market team IMMEDIATELY so that the columns write themselves, one way or another, for the next 5 years.

*Opens notes app*

I hope Durant tells them to fuck off.  And I'm a Knicks fan

Translation: "Shut up peon and be happy we let you live!" 

Fuck that juy.

I have no idea why he would be furious but am giving you a star just for reminding me of how glorious it is when that happens.

Like the many other great men of his generation, race, and class cohort, he’s so sure of his intellect and instinct that he doesn’t actually feel the need to know what he’s talking about.

Courtney Smith was also at the school to pick up the kids...

Courtney Smith was also at the school to pick up the kids, and Zach “was not to pick up their children until after 6 p.m.,” presumably not from the school.

I was thinking a romantic comedy about Robert Kraft and his masseuse.

1. I’m not American.

Panda Express!  When you absolutely, positively need a panda delivered overnight!

There’s no jury in the world that would have convicted you.

Ugh, my old roommate came back referring to the hood of the car as “the bonnet” and I almost had to run him over.

GOP defense of Israel and conflating criticism of Israeli policy with anti-Semitism is intellectually dishonest. It’s really about the right using Israel’s nationalism as a pretext to support and condone white nationalism here in the States.