Jesus fucking christ.

I hate how much I love this comment.

Pavel Datsyuk was the best hockey player in the world for a good chunk of his career. Fight me.

You are my spirit animal.

I was at this game. It was not pleasant.

Because the best way to deal with a systemic problem that POTENTIALLY impacts 0.4% of the population is to shut the government down.

The current problem with democracy is the same as it’s always been: The voting public. Right now the issue is that the most valued thing in this society is fame, but we generally don’t understand the difference between fame and notoriety. It’s all attention to us, and the attention is all that matters. That’s how we…

Goddammit. Blood alcohol level is not a level of impairment. It’s just a quantifiable level of a substance in your body. The level of impairment at a given BAC varies not just from person to person, but day to day for the same person. This is a cash grab. As another commenter noted, it will most likely result in a…

This. A fucking thousand times this. I cannot for the life of me figure out what the motivation for covering this up was. The PSU people are fucking monsters, but at least I can see the motivation. I can’t figure it out with this.

This is like in golf when a guy is a top 25 player in the world, decides he needs to rebuild the swing he has developed over a lifetime to take the next step, and becomes a “what happened to” in short order

Filing a false report of this type over state lines is a felony. A death resulted in the course of, and as a direct result of, this crime. That’s a felony murder. That’s first degree murder. Hope it was worth the lulz for all involved, because the swatter and any other co-conspirator (anyone who requested the crime be…

UPDATE: Water is also incredibly wet.

But do they have to pay back the money?

Holy fucking shit. I just Googled the card, and he’s actually on the bench in the picture. Perfect.

When I was 6, I got my first hockey jersey. It was a Blackhawks jersey. I wanted to be a goalie, so I got the number of the Blackhawks goalie I had a card of. There is a Darren Fucking Pang jersey in a box somewhere at my parents’ house because I have always made terrible decisions.

What in the fucking fuck? Call out the truthfulness of the survey all you want, I’m following this shit like the gospel.

1. Anyone who says “You can’t luck into a home run,” BARTOLO COLON. SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH.

I am a Bears fan. 8-8 is a level of optimism that burns with the heat of a thousand suns.

Remember when the media camped out in front of his house and showed his fucking address on national tv? As a pissed off 22 year old with a severely flawed moral compass, I remember thinking that was wildly fucked up.

The fact that no company has invented a secondary “excuse me” horn for the situation is baffling. The current situation is the equivalent of letting the person in front of you know it’s their turn by screaming “HEY!!!!!!!” in their ear.