I’m still wrapping my brain around a wedding at a gun range. Listening to gunshots during a ceremony certainly not my cup o’ tea.

I am not sure what point you’re trying to make here but I recommend no longer trying to make it

This is the opportunity for the full-on perfect stunt casting of Christopher Lloyd and Michael J Fox as Rick and Morty.

All through my 20s I was below the poverty line. Every year I would walk into Planned Parenthood for my appointment terrified that this would be the year they would demand money, because I never had any and I wasn’t quite sure what the criteria were, and I was always in temp jobs that had no insurance. Every year,…

It’s damn near libelous to accuse Republicans of not caring if people die, when they go to such lengths to make it absolutely clear they’re rooting for it.

Seems he’ll be going to prison precisely because he has a hard time letting teenagers go.

Not that low dangling, apparently.

Dear Congress People,

Disagree about the llamas looking like shit.  Them’s some goodass llamas.  Carry on.

I’m so glad I’m a fat atheist. This shit sounds fucking exhausting...

Jesus, tap dancing, christ. If you don’t like the casting then go back to reading the stories with your lily white images in your racist little heads. The racists do have a reason to not like these types of inclusive castings for movies and TV shows though: They are absolutely normalizing interracial life. The…

Need to load an oven on the back of a truck and when someone dies their loved one calls a 1-800 number and a truck shows up and burns them down to ashes and just gives you a box or an urn for a nominal upcharge. Kind of like Shred-it....except for people....need to figure out a few things; smoke, cooling down the…

What if they hit it and it then veers towards Earth? Is there another rocket on deck?

Just ‘plop a lemon wedge’, eh? Am I to act like some kind of pleb who doesn’t understand retronasal smell, putting gauche ‘flavors’ on my ‘tongue’ instead of inhaling them in a dignified manner befitting the classy gentleman I truly am!

Careful, Alec! Pointing things is how you got into this mess!

Yeah, most jobs I’ve had mention this in your terms of employment or contract. When they call it out, then yes, you have to tell them (or are barred from it entirely). Also, if you work for a local, state, or federal gov’t, there are LOTS of restrictions about what you can or can’t take on additionally.

lol ew

“Abortion on demand” makes it sound a little like a happy meal.

I wonder what would happen if I were to knock over a donut shop in front of a squadron of police officers on their coffee break?

What, don’t you know how to use a hob?