Did you recently have a child or something? The dad joke level of this article is off the chart.

So as well as being mistaken for woman* , she was mistaken for a Latina as well.

Try to live their what?

There are a few of them who survive, eking out a meager existence making reality television shows for the E! Network.

Watch Krull instead.

Yeah... “starting.”

No, that was a bunch of celebrity nudes that were leaked..... oh wait, you said The Happening?

Wait.. isn’t this how The Happening works?

and now I’m singing “formerly female” to the tune of “Suddenly Seymour” from Little Shop. thanks for that.

The Altima end to the fight

Well, that makes more sense. It just struck me as a really weird note to end that story on.

If Asthma was personified, it’d look like him.

I agree. If anything, his nickname should be “Bleached Asshole.”

Mike Pence looks like you’d find him strangling prostitutes on an episode of Law & Order SVU.

*Trump Wins Election*

I was getting a more “sovereign citizen” vibe from the whole magic passport thing. He should have remembered his towel...

Where did Israel and Palestine get peace?

I have zero doubt that he would seriously love to have Ivanka all to himself. His dream is probably if she is widowed and never remarries and he can “comfort” her all of the rest of his days. He is completely in love with her...because she’s part him. Blech.

You should have asked why they get their babies at Ikea.

If she plays it like she did the vampire in Blade Trinity (where she and Ryan Reynolds were clearly in a different movie than everyone else), then this will be nothing but fun.