Did you recently have a child or something? The dad joke level of this article is off the chart.

So as well as being mistaken for woman* , she was mistaken for a Latina as well.

Try to live their what?

and now I’m singing “formerly female” to the tune of “Suddenly Seymour” from Little Shop. thanks for that.

The Altima end to the fight

If Asthma was personified, it’d look like him.

I agree. If anything, his nickname should be “Bleached Asshole.”

Mike Pence looks like you’d find him strangling prostitutes on an episode of Law & Order SVU.

I was getting a more “sovereign citizen” vibe from the whole magic passport thing. He should have remembered his towel...

Where did Israel and Palestine get peace?

I have zero doubt that he would seriously love to have Ivanka all to himself. His dream is probably if she is widowed and never remarries and he can “comfort” her all of the rest of his days. He is completely in love with her...because she’s part him. Blech.

You should have asked why they get their babies at Ikea.

They can dub the stadium “The Savage Land” and change the team name to the Saurons!

Also affecting his play...being Brock Osweiler

Man, people sure have a strange way of expressing their economic insecurity.

You Shitti Farty Dirty Nasty Jude Bitch!

He didn’t attend his grandfather’s funeral—the same grandfather he once called before every game.

From the photo, it looks like they’re fighting fire with smoke.

That’s what I look like when the BBQ is almost done.

Yeah! The eagle-snake-buffalo guy! That was one of those shows that you should only watch when you’re disturbingly intoxicated. Even then, it made no sense, but if you were fucked up enough it was hilarious anyway.