Judging by personal experience, they weren’t nearly surprised enough when he tried to stuff it in one hole and it went in another.

1. Things continue until someone dies on the field.

I guess only Mr. Newton can really explain the gravity of the situation.

I can’t believe I had to scroll down for like ten seconds to find this.

Dave Matthews Band usually waits until they’re onstage to shower crowds in unfathomable amounts of shit.

Clicked on article for this, thank you!

Obligatory

Kid from the Make A Wish Foundation knew he should have just asked for a table dance.

They deserve Supreme Court Justice Barack Obama.

Good lord with as many of them that can fit into a tiny car then an army of clowns could pour out of a bus if they steal one.

*wipes the coffee off my screen*

To be fair she was rather noisy and he was trying to catch some shut-eye between questions.

If he promises to stand an entire game, the Browns would be interested.

I think we can rule out Derrick as a suspect if you just review his shooting percentage

Man, this episode of SVU is *crazy*

The Packers, who are instead owned by many of them

“Oh, sure, but a white man uses every part of the chicken and people get all squeamish.” —Ronald McDonald

In other news, the ivy they wanted trimmed back is still there, and Jeff the maintenance guy hasn’t clocked out. #makesyouthink

If only there was some kind of illegal radio station that ECU could employ...