Am I the only one who was confused by “Libby is the funniest fucking writer we had?” Libby was literally never funny, unless it was a mirthless chuckle at how ignorant she was.

You get a star but fuck you for bringing up Sargent again and making me laugh.

The hogs eat the leftovers.

Ain’t that the truth. But hey, when they’re under attack they’re “journalists.” Otherwise they’re “bloggers.” The commentariat has always been the real draw, because some of us remember the old days of Deadspin when it was run by Leitch, and the comments were hilarious. For Splinter, rarely have the comments been…

Believe it or not, New Hampshire residents and Vermont residents are two VASTLY different groups of people. Which is to say, people in Vermont are obnoxious, self righteous, and can freeze to death in their frigid winters for all I care.

Democratic Think Tank Member: Bernie Sanders is a blowhard with no notable accomplishments to his name.

I think what we’re all dying to know is “Where does Splinter stand in journalistic independence?” Because I feel like it’s somewhere between Daily Wire and NYT.

For some reason during my childhood I thought Vanity Fair was a reputable outlet. Then I recently read an article and found out it was just a gossip rag.

If you stop using a company because of their political views, there is a greater than 80% chance you are a moron.

More gratifying to laugh about how miserable you must be to self-appoint yourself Defender of the Splinter Comments Section.

Look at their hair. Is it greasy and not covered with a hat? Back away. Do they smell? Back away. Are they listening to music on their phones without headphones? Give dirty looks, and back away.

Seriously, I don’t even bother to soap my body in the shower except with leftover shampoo suds. I smell fine, better even if the shampoo happened to be scented. Have the people objecting to this never heard of fucking moisturizer?

I wish your mother had just dismissed you 30 days in.

How is this fucking news?

Alright Fredo, alright. We’ll get you some ice cream on the way home.

Fucking savage.

When did Cuomo’s wife get a kinja account?

“I’m a famous anchor on CNN! I’ll throw you down these fucking stairs!”

Points for “Fredobein.”

Lighten up, Fredo.