Let he who has never imitated a funny accent throw the first stone.

If anyone misses my lunch date by more than 15 minutes, I go to them and kill them myself.

I’m pretty sure 99% of the American ideal involves taking the Lord’s name in vain. Deus Veult, motherfuckers!

That’s all the more depressing given the number of errors that show up in GMG articles.

I know when my friend is late for anything, my first thought is “Must have been beaten and left bleeding in the gutter by a pack of feral teenagers.”

In other news, Splinter has now deemed it “racist” to imitate accents, single handedly infuriating comedians everywhere.

For what it’s worth, I would pay good money to see Trump imitate Asian accents.

It’s one or the other depending on each different person, and occasionally sometimes just a wonderful pair all at once.

You kidding? You don’t even need to ask that question, just look at the comments on any article, or the articles themselves littered with calls for death, torture, and being “removed” if you disagree with their politics.

“He doesn’t feel ashamed when we shame him! How can this be?! What do we do?!” - MSNBC, CNN.

“Only us NYC residents making less than 65k a year matter!” - Splinter bloggers.

Aggregating headlines and then posting strangely ignorant takes on them is tough work, man!

Yeah I’m a little confused how he came up with his take, given that the left has been doing everything in its power the past few years to throw utter shitfits over everything, claiming speech is “violence,” and demanding that Gwyneth Paltrow be removed from a movie, or that no movie based on an anime should have white…

Hillary Clinton is hazardous to your health, apparently.

They won’t be happy until they get the tapes that show Trump strangling Epstein with his bare hands.

Nonsense, it was during shift change.

I’m never going to place bets on your definition of “incorrect,” because literally your entire worldview is subjective, and in my opinion so wildly incorrect that I think you might want to seek serious mental health assistance. As in, I would refuse to name you as an executor of a Trust or Will.

Because it’s common knowledge that a) The UN questions for their survey are outright ridiculous, and based on dumb shit like “Are you happy with your healthcare?” Why the UN is even conducting such a survey is an even better question; and b) The article was published by Vox, which is nothing but a garbage fire that…

Good luck claiming disfigurement for superficial cuts..

At least there’s always a position open!