Starred for Greg the Egg.

It’s a very low degree of anonymity. You’re not exactly anonymous when you’re handing somebody a stack of bills, and you’re certainly not when conducting wire transactions.

I’ve always been confused about why he hasn’t walked away. He’s obviously got a board seat, he could keep his shares, why not just hire a CEO who isn’t going to land them in front of Congress every 3 months? He’d even have more time to practice being a human in front of the mirror!

Jessie Eisenberg is a better Zuck than even Zuck is.

What I’m curious about is..The dude has a veritable army of lawyers at his disposal. Not a single one prepped him? Or is he just hopelessly incompetent at behaving like a normal human?

“I absolutely plan to use this to circumvent the IRS and make money on illicit transactions, but I’m certainly not going to admit that on the record.”

Please, for all that is holy, never post again, MA’AM.

Uh, if you needed a person to tell you inhaling smoke directly in to your lungs was bad, you deserved to die in the first place.

You literally could have made the title of this article “Congress wastes its time on pointless hipster bullshit.”

Your asthma sounds like a YOU problem, not an US problem.

Yeah, but sorority girls also tend to be empty headed and absolutely willing to hop in bed with you if you’re in a fraternity and can throw a good party, so honestly that’s a worthwhile trade off.

“Salty, how do I solve this extremely simple problem that seemingly every other human being has managed to solve on their own?! I’m stumped!”

Wait wait wait, you fucking expect me to believe that in under four years, they -somehow- measured that people are dying earlier SOLELY due to a slight increase in air pollution? And you’ve managed to link this..scientifically?

Leave it to a California City Council to do some of the absolute dumbest shit imaginable.

Jokes on you, that bony arm WAS the erection.

So what you’re saying is, your husband’s family’s genes are loaded with DNA markers for cancer, and ALSO have a congenital hemophilia defect.

You forgot c) Both of these people are weirdos.

A 3 person sample size couldn’t even prove which place I’m more likely to go for dinner.

Personally, I found Belichick intentionally getting a delay of game on a punt to try and get more room, then when it was declined trying to have a player perform a false start just for it to get declined again - at which point Belichick is desperately trying not to grin like an idiot, especially when the refs talk to…

This is a fantastic way to end the night.