welcome to www dot Joanzebel.com. it’s only been a few months but it feels like much, much longer.

it really does, i thought it was a katy perry song when i heard it first.

I like to bright side lately, so I’m thinking the upshot of all this nepotism model business is going to be that totally average-looking, unremarkable people will become the only faces of products, brands, and campaigns. In the long run, this whole thing might actually be good! I mean, 16 year old me knew she would…

Yes. We bought a dvd called “Into the Grizzly Maze” from the 5$ bin two years ago, starring Marsden and a very over the top Billy Bob Thornton vs. a big-ass bear. It was execrable, and he was great in it.

eh, she will have disappeared in 2-4 years and we’ll forget she ever existed. there’ll be a Pajibuzzfeed article in 2040 titled “WHEN WE FALL OFF THE CHARTS, WHERE DO WE GO?” and we’ll hear all about how her pivot to being a lifestyle brand influencer for dogs or whatever has saved her life, for real, then

Just wanted to say that’s the best pun column name I’ve heard in a long while. Well done, Jolie!

Just wanted to say that’s the best pun column name I’ve heard in a long while. Well done, Jolie!

Please jesus let this happen, and let the results be presented while Ken Starr is present. Please then ask Ken Starr for his thoughts on how genetic material left on a dress can be crucial to impeachment. Please please please

the video of Kulture singing is adorbs

She sounds like the female CEO of my San Francisco company, who is a former McKinsey consultant. McKinzoids commodify everything, it’s what they do. She’s done the ROI of a nanny and determined that “soft skills” don’t have a cash value, but are inherent assets of this resource class. Crushing the numbers, 86k should…

Strangling someone to death requires so much strength, both in the hands and upper arms and back, and so much persistence, and so much mentally being okay with holding the person down and watching them beg for mercy, that I can’t square it with any kind of BDSM scene that anyone could consider consensual.

The only thing I remember from Avatar was the opening mushroom jungle sequence looking exactly like the part of World of Warcraft I was playing heavily at the time, and turning to my friend to say “wow, I wonder if they settled with Blizzard” because it was really, I mean, unmissably the same, and my friend saying…

ahhhh I forgot all about Crazy Eyes and her “healed from homosexuality” husband

super huge thanks for this awesome and useful answer :)

Honest question from someone who’s been out of the dating pool a long time: i won’t ever join Facebook, so does that mean the only app I can use is OK Cupid? Last I checked all the ones mentioned in the comments here (Tinder, Bumble, etc) required a Facebook account to use, which has always seemed shady to me, like…

• This Is Dementia

the Empress of Lucite herself, Shauna Sand, is shaking her head at those nasty stripper booties right now

Is there a post or thread anywhere where I can share my horrible McKinsey consultant stories?

anyone else find it weird a Swiss makeup brand calls itself “Bronx” Colors, and also why the america-only spelling of colour, without a U? kind of weird, no?

same!

dude’s got bigger pupils than a sumo wrestling school