Goldie did not pimp-slap that woman to the ground, he was Macked.

zing!

I haven't seen something hit a tub that hard since Kirstey Alley consoled herself with a bubble bath after losing Dancing With the Stars.

really liked this! +1

"My last brutal late hit ended with me having to back up off of it and sit my cup down."

"Your Honor, this is all a big misunderstanding...Ms. LaBelle simply said she wanted to *eat* Mr. King, not *beat* him."

undeterred by fan reaction to his douchebaggery, Harper hit another home run, Iced the pitcher, and planked home plate.

for the antithesis of superstar shrinkage, please refer to Roger Federer's mysterious bulge.

"It's all marketing. I help you guys out. You guys help me out. A lot of stuff I say is bullshit, and you all know that, but you guys write it.

Pizza Hut pizza artisan: "There, at long last, it is finished! The likeness is extraordinary, if I do say so myself."

TJ Duckett's new single features the beeping sound that tells him he needs to get the fries out of the oil before they get burned.

West Virginia’s Toxic Circus...

"Jackson simulates gay oral sex, slaps a random man, puts on a wig and humps a random man, rides a bike with training wheels while pretending to be retarded, and gives his albino son a wedgie before mock-kicking the boy in the face. All set to the "Rocky" theme song.

the Redenbacher clan nods sadly in commiseration.

"Has anyone told Tiger you don't need to win to be tops?"

Lynn Hoppe just jumped on that Redskins season ticket deal.

+1 copy of Secrets on vinyl

not pictured, the object of Hancock's gaze:

"White is more my color, but you're rocking it, my man!"

24 hours ago, a baby-oil slathered Hugh Hefner was the most lurid image I ever thought I'd receive via Gawker Media. Today, I'm not so sure.