Nurse: Oh my God! Come look at this Red skin!

I just don’t understand why they’d do this. Why would they give such a tacit endorsement to the racism and white grievance culture that this represents? I appreciate that these invitations are traditional and everything but I really thought Trump would draw the line somewhere.

Apple, or Blanket, or Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116

There is nothing in any way bad about somebody valuing you as a friend. If you feel bad about being in the “friend zone,” do your unsuspecting friend the kindness of letting them know you’re a creepy asshole who has no use for their friendship except as it affords you proximity for continuing to try to fuck them, and…

We’re just over the state line ourselves. Hopefully you can get Laura Kelly over the finish line too. Good luck!

You lucky duck! She sounds like a total badass.

If they’re already going all the way out to SunTrust Park, it’s not much further to DC.

Every animal dies. Not every animal truly lives.

[Pedantic comment warning.]

and it’s not excludable as hearsay because it’s

Listen, gay men: You don’t get to be misogynistic assholes while using women’s bodies for something you want. You don’t get a pass.

To be fair, most people who want lower taxes have absolutely no idea how anything at all works beyond their ability to complain about lower taxes. If you showed them a state, township, or even federal government spending chart their eyes would immediately glaze over and they’d be thinking about season 48 of America’s…

Calling TO the worst teammate in the history of football is a huge fucking stretch, my dude.

How many times do we have to liberate the French? HOW MANY TIMES?

My best, Ed

I think if your biggest qualm with this particular item is, “ Well, actually, we’ll have to keep taking down statues forever,” then you’re missing the point, a bit. The idea that, as you imagined, in 2200, people will take down statues of leaders who did little to aid LGBTQ rights assumes our society will continue…

Five cheerleaders told Macur that the team had them serve as escorts...

Oh God! After reading this, my fake gluten “sensitivity” fake started acting up!

“You gonna fu*k that thing or what?” - Jim McElwain