I would never have expected the world of competitive hot-dog eating to be so… salty.

“Boy, that’s a lot of high Fins”

Standing ovation for “full of rage and previously turds,” Samer.

It’s amazing how well the scouting report for Marvell Wynne, Sr. holds up for Marvell Wynne, Jr. - “speedy fourth outfielder type.”

We had sons ~14 months apart (yes, planned; yes, crazy). In that short span of time, the price of a circumcision doubled, and the amount that our insurance covered halved, meaning our total cost for just that one procedure quadrupled. All applied to the boys’ deductibles, of course, and not the $20,000+ billed to my…

I always come to the same conclusion when I read stories like this:

In British soccer parlance, a “tie” means a matchup in a knockout competition. So this goal was the one that gave Roma the victory in the tie.

The question is, does Cavani love Cavani?

“They don’t want to eat the fish, but they do want to make it late for something.” RIP Mitch Hedberg

*voicemail ends* “Press 1 to erase your message and record a new message. Press 2 if you are satisfied with the racial content of your message.”

“Really, the Daytime Emmys?”, says the zero EGOT guy, about the double EGOT guy.

Still, the Daytime Emmys feels a bit...cheap? Rooting for Donald Glover to get the EGOT some day.

Statement from the local police department indicates the suspect will be charged:

[standing ovation]

If a reviewer has knowledge, direct or indirect, of an abusive environment at a restaurant, I think they have a duty to include that information in the review.

Counter-counterpoint: Nah. Edgar’s a stone-cold HOFer.

hAs CoRnEl WeSt GiVeN yOu YoUr BaLlS bAcK?

Blown away by how good “Fall Into My Arms” by Ngaiire is. Thank you!

Hi there, Hithere. You suck.

I need more info on this “former friend” situation for Bell and Pastner, because currently I am choosing to believe it’s like this guy.