His wife was equally unimpressed with her second-place trophy.

Your gif game is on point. Kudos.

Hartford Orioles were ROBBED that year.

I’m not sure I’d want to see Intergluteal Cleft opening for anyone.

“Intergluteal Cleft” would be a FANTASTIC name for a rock band.

The proper term isn’t downvotes, it’s “surprise disagreements.”

Well at least that will give them a sense of pride and accomplishment 

I’m going to leverage your thought leadership when we ideate our next ecosystem disruption. I think a deep dive initiative will help unpack the core competencies needed to move the needle on our deliverables. Hopefully, it will incentivize engagement among key players. I’m out of pocket right now, so I can’t drill…

Roxanne! You don’t have to put on that red hat.

During the stoppage, Mokhtari asked the Nancy players to instruct the fans to stop.

If there was a young man in literally any other profession who made $100 million before he was 30 and decided to retire, he would be lauded. The Wall Street Journal would write thousands of words of wankery praising his acumen and smarts and god bless America.

Seems shortsighted to me. What’s he going to do without football? Other than his family, tens of millions of dollars, a Stanford education, and relative youth, football was all he had going for him.

Much like all good colts who have suffered injuries, Andrew Luck will retire to a lovely farm upstate.

* grabs shotgun *

* takes Luck out back *

I guess you could say Indy's luck has........run out.

Dearest Mother,

Fun fact... wait for it... I used to be a hand model and that’s my hand in Zoolander

But he didn’t waste any lives. That’s the point of the article. 

That man deserves a warm, whole turkey that was punched out of a trash can.