She wants to catch the “uppity Blacks” in a *gotcha* moment.

Frozen Snickers are wonderful. They also hit a really nice sweet spot when they thaw just slightly. The outside gets a tiny bit soft, making it easier to bite through, but the middle still gives that frozen crunch.

[giggles] You almost wrote “cock boner.”

Gamers should be pleased to know that the record is purely cosmetic.

Can we just skip to the part where the Patriots sign Brown to a crazy cheap, 1-year contract and he behaves perfectly all season?

Ah. The dreaded Rear Admiral.

I didn’t go on family trips the last couple years because we had an old dog with health issues. We weren’t going to put her in a kennel and I didn’t feel comfortable having a dog sitter, so I stayed home to take care of our little one.

I’m going as fast as I can....

What.

Keeping Magary a secret from her would only eat away at my soul and eventually tear us apart.

Eating mistake:

I’m not a world leader, so I don’t know for sure, but I would guess a handshake plus kiss on the cheek isn’t out of bounds. She wouldn’t be going in for one if it was inappropriate.

I just want to say that my daughter had her first REALLY late night of middle school homework last night, so she was understandably exhausted during breakfast. Neither of us knows anything about soccer, but I read her this headline and it brightened her morning.

He’s mad Jews don’t love him enough?

Coincidentally, I was just telling my son what it was like to be a college student.

Fuck. I knew it.

I remember seeing his batshit TV ads when I was in college. That Super Bowl was during my freshman year. My entire dorm hallway was in my room watching the game. I was curled up in the corner of my bed. The game was so fucking boring that I fell asleep.

If you have to tell everyone that you are the best President for Jews, methinks you are not, in fact, the best President for Jews.

My college roommates and I had a team name discussion 20+ years ago. We concluded that the best name that you never see (forgive me if it’s some minor league baseball team, which it probably is) is “Monsters.”