The prequels spoiled us with good lightsaber duels. The sequel movies have some shit duels. With Snoke and Luke dead, and the Knights of Ren written out, Rey and Ben are basically the only two people with lightsabers in the galaxy, and Rey’s lightsaber is broken.

If he shaved his entire head, he could star in a Syd Barrett biopic.

Looks good but that title is a real stinker. Looks bad on a marquee. Shoulda just called it Soldado.

I guess you could say the Messiah is... near.

How about something original, say a sitcom about a hard-drinking yet loving family of football tailgaters. If they’re not banging a chick, they’re fighting some douchebag. “Shut the Hell Up”, I’d call it.

Is it safe... to be around Dustin Hoffman?

Hmmmm... I don’t agree with his death threat policy, but I do approve of his full frontal policy.

They should change their name to “Legitimate Businessman’s Social Club”.

That ain’t workin, that’s the way you do it, record several excellent albums and awards for free.  

“The President’s head is missing, huh huh huh! *hits bong*”

Still the best lightsaber duel so far, mostly because of Ray Park’s sweet moves. Rogue One wasted Donnie Yen by not having him secretly be a Jedi. I thought for sure his staff would contain a lightsaber blade, and he’d mow down dozens of stormtroopers, and then fight Darth Vader on the beaches of Scarrif.  

I guess you could say his feet... didn’t fail him.

Coincidentally, Christoph Waltz was in a movie called Big Eyes, about an artist who drew kids with big, creepy eyes.

What a sick beat she gave him... in court, that is.

Danny DeVito as Dickachu or get the fuck out!

“I, Tania” would be a great title.

John Wick 2, Atomic Blonde, and The Villainess were robbed for Best Action Movie.

I guess you could say his family won’t be having a nice... Hallyday.

It’s a shame they’ll probably use CGI gunshot wounds instead of real ammunition like last time. It’s just not authentic, ya know? 

I liked Stannis. He’s the rightful King of Westeros. Now that there are lesser characters on the show, his presence is missed.