Funniest part was when that guy screamed like Elaria Sand.

Heineken? Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!

Nosferatu?

Wot? I cannae get pissed at the bleedin’ aeroport no more? They can eat me nans arse, the bastards. Where else am I suppose to get a pint besides the thousands of pubs, restaurants, and liquor stores in me country?

I read this Newswire in Werner Herzog’s voice.

Don’t eat too much cake, or you’ll wind up like the Fat Bottomed Girls. 

After his character gets shot with a blaster: “It was not a significant bolt."

I guess you could say it’s a... turd in the wind.

Those teens later that night...

His mother, somehow, is still alive. She's 106.

17 is legal not only in most of the world, but in most of the country as well. She is no rapist.

I was the first guy selling Band-Aids to the rock kids

Simpsons did it:

They should use a vegetable based dye to print a warning label on every single food product that may or may not contain peanuts or peanut adjacent legumes. Not just on the packaging, but on the cookie itself. It’s the only way to be safe.

I bet it’ll gross ‘39 million at the box office.

Simpsons did it.

His performance was bad and he should feel bad.

Sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing... *wipes away tear*

In Chicago, the horny, hungry bears stick to Boystown.