From one vet to another, I hope you rest well, Guardswoman. I know damn good and well you earned it.

Probably because of Portlandia, which local liberals actually hate.

The Bible gives specific treatment laws regarding slaves and at no point rescinds them. Fact.

Having known way too many guys from NYC, the n-word use by anybody AT ALL with a skin tint or the ability to say their great-great-great grandma was born on a boat within sight of Puerto Rico or Cuba, the n-word use is grand and wide and unapologetic.

I originally read this as ‘Florida Cop’ instead of ‘Shop’, after I realized I misread it, it also dawned on me that my way works just as well.

We tried to tell you that Chyna is just a garbage person who reserves 0 attention ever.

For the most part, I don’t believe that one life is worth more than another, but she was 38. Had barely gotten out of medical school, and gets all that hard work that she obviously did amongst fellow students who probably called her ‘mom’.  This type of shit just shows that nobody can escape this fuckery.

This is what happens when you don’t knock out a dude on the first day. EVERYONE now knows that a dude Howard could crush to death with only his wallet feels safe punking him.

I like how Jokic starts backing up right away like he just drained an actual 3.

I once gave a ride to a lady having what appeared to be a psychotic episode to a local Wal-Mart. When we got there, she pulls her shirt down, shakes her naked boobs and says “THERE IS YOUR PAYMENT! WEIRDO!” before getting out and running into the store.

This kid looks like DJ Qualls is trying too hard to be cool.

The only answer is that the NFL has officially taken over the planet and has ordered the change of English stadiums literally from the ground up.

Fuck this.

“Do I need to bring out my concealed weapon, too?

eventually grow to see El Clásico—the famous rivalry between Barcelona and Real Madrid—take place on American soil.

Fortress Investment Group is probably the last name you want attached to you in a case involving a rape dungeon.

As a Dolphins fan, every time I see Jakeem Grant’s tiny self get hit, especially when he gets smoked, I immediately think the little guy just died.

It is our fault that you’re blind and retarded?

Yep, that whole 2 miles between ya makes a lotta difference.

Way to try and make this sound any better.