Yeah, but they had to make due with some guy who was bagging groceries throwing the ball.

I saw Gibbering Masturbators at CBGB in ‘79. They were intense.

I don’t watch Get Up, so apparently I can’t comment on this.

Counterpoint: The 1999 Rams played their starting QB in the preseason and went on to win the Super Bowl.

He didn’t catch it. He was obviously bobbling the ball as he went to the ground. Under the NFL’s idiotic catch rule at the time, he didn’t have control going to the ground. Not sorry, Cowboys fans. 

I live in Indianapolis and am a born & raised Hoosier. It’s completely unfair to make generalizations about the entire state. My best friend is a not-racist & I even dated a girl once who wasn’t racist...my parents completely supported that, too!

I assume they were interested in finding out who said it originally, so they could get an explanation of what the hell the dumb, racist joke was supposed to even mean.

Penis.

While I’m hopeful this doesn’t just peter out like all the other times when it seemed like Trump would get the shaft, I also can’t say willy-nilly that Pecker’s admissions will result in dick.

Her admissions and my personal sense of satisfaction notwithstanding, I am wise enough to this game not to leave it to chance. 

She should be ordering this shit on Amazon anyway. 

Yep, This guy gets it! Ive gotten to the point that if something isnt on the shelf, I take a panoramic picture of the entire shelf as evidence. Love my wife, but marriage is all about proving that I’m not just a cheap prick.

My 2 year old pronounces it “Kanza Shitty” and I’ve never once corrected him. 

“Coach Meyer is known to have a physical condition that in combination with medication taken to treat that condition, causes him to impulsively say anything he can think of to Make Allegations Go Away."

Reminds me of an old joke:

Ground meat has more health risks because of the surface area that is possibly exposed to pathogens. A slab of pork will have some pathogens on the outside that get cooked off while grilling/frying/baking or whatever, but ground pork(like ground beef) has a lot more surface area exposed to pathogens and needs to be…

Guillan-Barre comes in two varieties. Acute (almost always (*almost*)), and he’ll be fine in a few weeks or so. Chronic is really rare and he’ll never play football again.

“This is a very sad day for everyone in the Cowboys family. We can only hope that someday Travis will be able to ride in a car again.” - Emmitt Smith

The Bills making it to four Super Bowls is like Portugal once being a world power, an historical fluke that will never, ever happen again.

That was more disturbing to me than the guy who jerked off at Arby’s.