This is absolutely fucking great. And as a Maryland-born Chicago-dweller, I'm very happy with my state's representation. Kudos.

how is sriracha less popular than quinoa

Oh man. Y'all are troopers. I couldn't get past the dude waving the towel around.

More like GRUMBLING, am I right?

also don't say that too loud, Jalopnik might hear you

To be fair, I was reaching. I like mazda a lot. I just think "SWAGG" is soooooo douchey that it clouded my judgement.

Please note that "SWAGG" is parking in a permit parking only location, and unless the permit is on the right side front windscreen, it appears as if he is missing a permit.

I hear A.J. McCarron's girlfriend is good-looking

Do you think something fundamental needs to change about the way football is played in order to ensure (relative) player safety, assuming Schutt or whoever doesn't come up with a magical rainbow concussion-preventing helmet in the next 30 years?

34 would be the more accurate number there. Check the box score.

Hah. Yup. If he watched the whole game, he would have learned that NU pretty much outplayed OSU for 90% of the game

Right? I'm an NU kid, so I'm a bit frustrated.

Don't worry. The refs made up for it in the 4th with a few bullshit roughness and interference calls, as well as multiple bad spots, so everything fits the narrative now.

Nope.

Oh hey, Life In Hell! Clever.

because we haven't since like 1949?

That's fair. Again, I'm an NU kid, so I think we're second-or-third best in the conference, definitely worthy of a spot between 15 and 20 this week. I don't think, barring an upset, we'll learn much about that team this week, and a loss won't be enough to drop them from the rankings. The big ten is weird this year…

Yeah, it's super odd. But I guess that's what happens sometimes when you try to rank all 125 teams? As an NU fan, I'm kind of bewildered at the entire Big Ten placement— not because we're lower than we should be, but because the team placement just seems... off.

A loss to OSU isn't going to be enough to knock NU out of the top 25.

A Schiano Man only eats things he has cooked on an unwashed, rusted out cast iron skillet he found out back.