Go to Marshall’s man. You will find decent CK, RL, UA, Adidas for like $5 apiece.

Go to Marshall’s man. You will find decent CK, RL, UA, Adidas for like $5 apiece.

I mentioned this a few weeks ago, but in the slight chance that everyone isn’t subscribed to my witty repartee...We were having an introductory conference call with my new boss. She asked everyone to announce their name before they spoke. One woman is quite a brown-noser and never stops talking. She started a comment…

I think you know me well, robotrousers.

No regrets about the Wrangler jeans though.

I think you know me well, robotrousers.

No regrets about the Wrangler jeans though.

Going for the vote of the masses works for a lot of things but I think that this and the fact that Barbasol won the shaving cream vote Prove that it doesn’t work for this. I’d really, really, really rather have had a great thought out article with one of your writers trying out everything for awhile and then making an…

Going for the vote of the masses works for a lot of things but I think that this and the fact that Barbasol won the…

Mortals please! Stop your petty squabbling!

Hanes? Too many straight guys on this site.

Hanes? Too many straight guys on this site.

Ah, I just remembered another great one. It isn’t mine, but I remember it from an old EGM letters column. Somebody wrote in to say that they had hooked up their Xbox mic to their stereo so they could play music over voice chat in Halo 2. They would play the entire match with the Vengaboys’ “We Like to Party” playing…

This is technically also a troll, so I hope it counts:

I had BioShock: Infinite pre-ordered for PC, but since my laptop is sometimes iffy about running games (thank you, Optimus tech) I wanted to try it out first. The game was leaked a few days early so I thought of torrenting it, so I could try it out and see if it…

All CGI, of course, because who needs to see actual gameplay?

This is all the convincing I need.

Didn't one of the floating bridges sink like 20 years ago?

Exactly, because everyone knows that I go around to people's homes asking if they "have a moment to talk about the teachings of Laverne Cox."

I have a friend who doesn't like when guys wear condoms. She says she knows her cycle. She and her husband have two oops children and think it's because she's "bizarrely fertile".

I am more than fine with wearing a condom, and in fact almost always insist on it. (I think my count is so high I could get a tree pregnant.)

Nah girl, he said he liked his haircut but that he just likes to go home after every time he gets his haircut and use certain shampoos/conditioners on it and have a quiet night in. It was weird as shit.

"Sorry! Didn't see this text"

I do it all. the. time. Even though I hate it when other people do it and we all know it's bullshit. Sometimes I really don't see a text. But I never bother giving the excuse when it's true.

What a fucking dork you are, man...Social Justice Avengers. Adjust your hat, neckbeard, and venture forth from thy parent's basement. Breath that fresh air. Take a hit from your asthma inhaler. Now relax because it's just a comic book.

To all people playing this on console... I extend a heartfelt expression of gratitude for beta testing this for the PC release.

Sorry ladies. I win this one.

In the summer of 2013, I had spent 8 Very Long, Very Hard years in graduate school and was a mere two weeks away from defending my Ph.D. My monogamous husband of 8.5 years went over to visit our closest couple friends' of 5 years house to drink and play video games while I worked on all of my dissertation shit.…